Mindfull Mari

Little Steps to Change Your Life…Starter Pack

The amount of times I have wanted to type into the Google search bar, “How To Change My Life” or “I want to transform my life and I don’t know where to start”, or even just simply “HELP”… is a considerably large amount for someone who is honestly quite happy and content with her existence.

Whether you are content, joyful, miserable, confused, or somewhere swimming around in any or all of those pools… we can all do small things to help bring more happiness, passion, and livelihood into our daily lives. 

I am not life coach or therapist- but I am a human has failed many times- which has given me the curiosity to figure out what “helps”.

Lose the mindset of, “I’ll be happy when________.”

It is ok to want more for ourselves- as long as we realize that wanting more shouldn’t necessarily mean material items, new relationships, or that one big job promotion. If you are currently in the mindset of “I will be happier when _______ happens”– I want you to take a long hard look at why you think it will take something or someone to help fill whatever void you feel. 

Life change starts with small changes, and small changes start from within.

Essentially, there are 3 simple rules and how to’s: 

Write. Speak. Do. 

Step one: The four “writes”.

1. Write down your dreams. Write down every single one of your rampant and wild dreams. I am serious. NO LIMITS. Write down everything you might want to do in your life. There is no money constraint, educational block, there is no time commitment or lack thereof. Write it ALL. Get it down on paper. Once it is out there, it is out there- and whether or not you do them is entirely up to you. More importantly, that isn’t to say every wildest dream needs to be accomplished- over time the ones that sink further into your heart and mind are the ones I hope you strive for.
2. Write down your to do list. That long list of “Shit, I still have to do ______.” Write it down. Even the most mundane tasks. I recommend breaking it down into your day, then your week. If you are really a planner- go ahead and go for that monthly/yearly “gotta get it done” to do list. 
3. Write down your worries. This one always stresses me out- because most of the time I am not honest with myself. “I am so stressed but I don’t even know why!” Sound familiar? You might need to sit with yourself for a few minutes. Let your thoughts come freely to your min , let them surface before you start writing. But once a worry or stressor surfaces- write. it . down. The only person you are hurting is you when/if you try to water down your emotions.
4. Write down what you’re grateful for. The best for last. Easily my favorite thing to do- and probably the most important of the “four writes”. I have been doing my best to get into the habit of writing down 3 things I am grateful for every night. Whether in your phone, in a journal, in a planner- wherever works best for you. But put it somewhere permanent. Recounting our blessings at the end of each day, no matter how small, is a simple reminder of how lucky we are to simply live, breath, and experience the world around us- no matter how shitty of a day we have. 

Step two: How to Speak.

It is time to start retraining your brain on how we not only speak with those around us, but how we speak to ourselves.

Remember “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? I hope at this point in your life, you have realized that words have a longer lasting impact than we once thought . The way others speak to us affects us, so why wouldn’t the words we speak or think  toward ourselves have an impact?

We are accustomed to living in this fast paced society that demands a lot from us- so you might ask, “How do I have time to think about my words, when I barely have time to eat, sleep, work, repeat?” Here are a few affirmations that you to practice.

It might feel ridiculous at first if you don’t have a semi-habitual affirmation practice- but have a little trust, if not in me, in yourself:

• I am capable of finishing anything I start.
• I am making choices that will benefit my future.
• I am beautiful and I live my own truth.
• I have everything in my power to make my dreams become a reality.
• I will not compare myself to where others are- we are not on the same journey.
• I am worthy of an incredible life.

Step three: Time For Action. 

It is now time to let your written word and spoken word form a mastermind plan to actually change your life.

Remember that to-do list you made? Remember telling yourself you can in fact complete any task that you start? Go do it. Then write about how it made you feel to complete something that had been weighing on you. Go look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to smile at strangers and have a good day and then… go do it.

It is of course easier said than done- so HOW do you get yourself to actually make the change?

I can give advice that might help get you started in the right direction- but sorry sis, most of this is going to need to come from that incredibly stubborn (and sometimes seemingly non-existent) part of you called inner strength and self motivation. Here’s a quick list, ranked in no particular order- but one with tried and true ways to take action:

1. Tell a loved one about your action plan. Sharing the actual plan can be motivating to stick to it.
2. Set a date and time and treat it like an appointment. 
3. Create a scrapbook or bullet journal of the process (or for the tech prone- social media can be a place to share and connect with others doing the “doing”).
4. Document that process. We often get hooked on the end goal- but usually it is through the process of doing that we learn the most- document that!

When all is said and done, it’s the small steps- both forward and back and possibly sideways- that will bring us to our next destination. It isn’t a perfect process with zero error, and in my humble opinion, that’s the point of life. Perfection will never be acquired as long as different perspectives exist. That’s all part of it. You are trying. You will put one foot in front of the other and try.

Trying is the start to doing, and doing is what will change your life.